The road less travelled...

Is this our definition of living a normal life?

"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it" - Ellen Goodman (The Boston Globe)

I believe it's still not too late to opt for the road less travelled. As the beautiful poem goes:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood,and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference...

Robert Frost

Are you ready to retire Young & Rich?

Has this ever crossed your mind? Your response? Look no further, the answer is right staring within you. Logically speaking? Well, let’s give this test a go shall we, How long will my retirement savings last? Say you want to retire at 40, and you’re projected to live until 70. To make more mathematical sense:

Expected number of years of retirement = 70 - 40 = 30 years!!!

Now, are you happy with your result?

Let’s face bigger questions:

1) Is our savings & KWSP sufficient ? (NB/ this calculation not even consider medical expenses at that age –especially if we do not own any medical insurance. But even if we do, do we know how much is our country inflation rate for medical expenses?)

2) Is our investment vehicle doing good enough? What investment vehicle to use so that our money will not be swiped away (in value sense) by inflation?

3) Are we satisfied with the recommended withdrawal amount (say it is monthly basis withdrawal)?. Should the value proposed lower than our expected monthly expenses (after inflation is being factored in of coz!!), are we willing to lower our standard of living?

I cringe every time I hear people say ‘bestnye kalau aku menang sejuta, kaya aku, takyah keje dah sampai bile-bile’. Can a windfall really change people’s lives? EPF officials have been quoted saying that people who withdraw their savings in a lump sum upon reaching the age of 55, tend to spend their savings off in 3 years!.

Redefining competition...

Is competition a bad thing? As far as 'orang kita' mindsets are concerned, sadly, the answer is always yes. Most of us are forced/molded to believe that we should not even position ourselves to the war of competition. To play it safe all the time. And even when the situation forces us to fight in a fair ground, we choose to do it with many exceptions… For arguments’ sake, let’s observe the following scenarios:

1) Why is the imported cars cost more here in Malaysia than other countries in the world?. It’s for the sole reason that gomen is protecting our national car, shameful Proton. If only we are paying Honda City / Toyota Vios at their actual market price, would you (those in the right mind) even giving Proton WAJA a second look? As a result, consumers who bought ‘outside’ cars were deliberately punished to pay more!!

2) Look at the UiTM 10% non-bumi issue, and how the political morons make it look like we should be in a war of protecting ‘orang kita’ rights. Why can’t the student be taught to face the real competitive world? No wonder majority of them failed to fit the job market. They will not go far with this closed-minded attitude. Stop blaming who’s dominating the market, but ask ourselves what does it takes to be in the ‘game’? Read no further if you already set your mind to settle as gomen servant.

3) Ever listened to XFresh FM? ‘Kami tak hot, kami cool’? They claimed to air 100% Malaysian music. They are the perfect example of a bunch of people who doesn’t welcome competition. What’s wrong with Indonesian song? How come the industry welcome English songs (we have Hitz, Mix, Fly –which mostly played international songs and they’ve never been labeled as not being patriotic) Oh.. now I got it… It’s because they have no direct influence to ‘orang kita’ rice bowl. Music is universal. You don’t label music as you label people!!

I learn my lesson well by watching Beijing Olympic games. To win is not to make the least of the opponents, not to make you feel more superior than other people, but to be better than you used to be!!

*signing-off*

Beautiful...

I was strucked big time when I stumbled to the following poem... Tot I've read it somehwere.. sounds sooo familiar... tapi di mana ya?

If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't,
If you like to win, but you think you can't,
It is almost certain you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost,
For out of the world we find,
Succes begins with a fellow's will-
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger of faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!!

Do observe all the highlighted words, and hopefully we will catch the deep meaning which the poet had in mind...

C.O.M.M.U.N.I.C.A.T.I.O.N.S

Well, as you might have noticed, communication isn't always easy. Different people communicate with their own particular quirks and styles. Some people seem to 'get you' right away ... and others, no matter how much you try to explain ... never really do understand.

This hit or miss mode of communicating can be very frustrating, and you may lose your patience or can't see the logic in what others are saying; if things seem stuck and generally just don't feel good, then this is where having the flexibility and knowing how to speak another persons' language is useful. Choosing specific words can help with getting things back on track.

1) When people seem as though they are impatient with a lot of details, and want things to move faster -- they're indicating that they're a Visual processor. Try adding some visual language into the conversation ... "I see what you mean" if you do ... or "How does this look to you?".

2) When people seem as though they're talking too much, or repeating themselves -- they're indicating they're an Auditory processor. Try adding some auditory language into the conversation ... "What I hear you saying is ..." or "What does that sound like?"

3) When people seem as though they're wiggling too much and slow to become comfortable and settled (with an idea) they're indicating a tendency toward Kinesthetic processing. Try incorporating some feeling language into your communication ... "I'm beginning to grasp what you mean" ... or "Do you feel like you have a handle on this?"

4) And when people seem as though they're taking too much time to think and sort things through, they're indicating a tendency toward Auditory Digital processing. Try adding some structure and logic into the conversation ... "Does that make sense?" ...or "Do you feel you've got all the logical details?"

So if it seems like you're not getting through to someone, even though you've very patiently explained it to them more than once ... Step Back ... take a deep breath ... and R E L A X. It could be that you simply need to change your language to match your listener's preferred communication style!

Copyright © Linda Storey. All rights reserved.

Pssttt... I got a secret!!

The weather was perfect! And with that reason I drove down to town during lunch break, to buy some ole2 for my home trip next week. Some pickled fruits and kuah rojak Mak Bee are among must-buy items.

Before I decided to have many heavy shopping bags, I went up to the first floor of Chowrasta Market and wonder around the shop lots and like it was meant to be, at the far end corner, there was a second hand book shop!

Phew! The smells of old books and magazines filled up the small breathable space, mixed with the funny smells from the market downstairs. Surprisingly, I didn't complain. It was like heaven to me! I was like a child lost in a candy land! Like a pirate who finally found the treasures!!

Thousands of used books awaited to be explored! Fiction books ranging from RM10-RM15. And for a good self-help and personal finance book, the range is between RM20 to RM25. I thought it was really a good deal. And I'm positive to come back here often!

My recommendation, if you're looking to fill up your home library and your brain with great books by RTK, Napoleon Hill, Wayne Dyer, Dale Carnegie, Paulo Coelho and many more - this is the place. Happy Reading!!

*Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers*

Charles W. Eliot, The Happy Life, 1896

Demi Masa...

Demi masa...
Sesungguhnya manusia kerugian
Melainkan... Yang beriman dan beramal soleh

Demi masa...
Sesungguhnya manusia kerugian
Melainkan... Nasihat kepada kebenaran dan kesabaran

Gunakan kesempatan yang masih diberi
Moga kita takkan menyesal
Masa usia kita jangan disiakan
Kerna ia takkan kembali

Ingat lima perkara, sebelum lima perkara
Sihat sebelum sakit
Muda sebelum tua,
kaya sebelum miskin
Lapang sebelum sempit
Hidup sebelum mati

NB/ I remember to have started reciting Surah Al-Asr every single day at 'sekolah petang' in my primary school years. And I'm not ashamed to admit it all started will purely verbal in action and not truthfully meant it. May Allah guide me to prioritize what I'm looking & having for in this life and one that is far beyond important - the afterlife...

Feedback...

While waiting for a company to my hiking plan this morning (well apparently they are still sleeping), I opt to finish my reading on one of RTK book. And it got me thinking when I read - Your feedback loop: No man is an island.

Why did I name my blog 'Stop & Stare'? It's my attempt to read, observe & listen to the feedback of the world. Life & experinces are the best lessons as long as I realize the importance of the following:

1) Have the courage to be open to feedback. If you want to improve, seek more feedback. This is why coaches and mentors are important to succesful people.

2) Many will tell you what you want to hear than tell you what you need to hear. Your friends and co-workers will then speak behind your back because they lack the courage to speak to your face.

3) Offer feedback or advice only if it's asked for. Nothing infuriates people more than feedback they did not ask for... even if it's feedback they know they need. As the ancient bit of wisdom goes, "Don't teach pigs to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig".

Do we fight or do we flee?

In this difficult situation, I sometimes dream to migrate and reside in other country less corrupt than Malaysia... Until the following conversation took place:


Someone: Migrate to where?
Someone: do we fight or do we flee?
Someone: do we not love this country anymore?
Someone: Is it only because these few greedy people at the top that ruin the entire otherwise beautiful nation?
Mazhiling: the country does not love me as much as I do... the feeling is not mutual...
Someone: why must we run?
Someone: why not change?
Someone: the government is not the country..
Someone: Barisan National is not the country either..
Someone: BN culture does dance well with our beautiful culture..
Someone: our friendly and generous people..
Someone: Don't let the corrupt few ruin your beautiful thoughts of this country..
Mazhiling: yes.. it's true.. hujan emas di negeri orang...
Mazhiling: hujan batu di negeri sendiri..
Someone: yes... grass is always greener on the other side..
Someone: Our country is great..
Someone: just that BN made it a little more communist then necessary..
Someone: Power and money crazy..
Someone: but i believe change is coming..
Someone: our people have greater awareness now then last time..
Someone: slightly better educated..


Phew! To live in such a beautiful, abundence natural resources, less natural disaster occurance country- I truly have been blessed.., and this left me with only one option - to fight!

*I'm not going to quit. Why should I quit? This country is worth fighting for*

Buat bodoh jer?

Ever heard of this expression before? And I was quite pissed when someone choose to do nothing and being ignorant. However, I realize 'buat bodoh' can somehow save you miraculously.

It's funny sometimes, when you want something really badly, and nothing turn out right. But when you choose to do nothing, things just have way to come out perfect!

So, after realising this, should you work really hard for the things you want? Or should you let the fate decides?

My answer is, REDAH jer!! Just do it! The outcome is not for you to decide! :)

HOW DO YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE?

I’m watching life as a big a screen TV playing nonstop. And really, just by looking, so much can be observed.

If I can divide them into 3 group:

1) Those who live in the past:

Those who are holding on to the memories that will never come back. For example, those who cherish spouse/partner as the same person they knew. And they found it hard to believe the fact that people CHANGE!
Contoh ayat: Dia bukan orang macam tu, dulu masa couple dia baik, layan saya macam puteri!

Those who has a constant grief and regret for things that happened in the past.
Contoh ayat: Menyesal aku amik course ni dulu, kalau aku tau susah camni keje dia, sure aku study mende lain…

Those who live live in guilt
Contoh ayat: Aku rasa bersalah bla bla, sbb aku pernah bla bla bla, So aku tak deserve bla la bla…

2) Those who live in the future:

Those who never stop worry
Contoh ayat: Bolehke aku survive kat kompeni baru? Takutla nak tukar kerja ni. Entah-entah keje sekarang ni lagi baik daripada kompeni baru tuh?

Those who has constant negativity - paranoia:
Contoh ayat: Aku takut aku tak boleh buat la. Aku takut orang lain ada high expectation kat aku. Macam mana kalau aku screw up?

Those who live in wishing mode
Contoh ayat: Takpela, biar aku bertahan. Suatu hari nanti, mungkin dia akan berubah...

3) Those who live at present

Those who realize NOW is what we have, and make the most of it!
Those who take one day at a time!
Those who realize nothing in this world can ever change the past, and now is what we have to work on the future we want!

So, tepuk dada… and ask ourself, which way to live our life?

*The past is forgotten and the future is promised to no one *

Selamat Hari Jadi Mak!!

sob.. sob.. wei.. sedih ni.. pagi2 lagi Lenny dah buat speech yg menyentuh perasaan... but it's really good to let out your feelings (which I'm very lousy at)...

ingat tak.. dulu masa mak marah & denda kita sbb kita degil tak nak belajar dan tak nak tolong mak buat kerja rumah... kita selalu rasa mak jahat & tak sayang kat kita...

Dulu mak sanggup tak nak beli TV n tak nak bagi kita semua tgk TV, sbb pada dia bende tu membuang masa dan sebabkan kita malas belajar & tak fokus. Dah berapa kali kita adik-beradik merayu, but they (mak & abah) stick to what they believe is right.. But, now only I realize itulah kasih sayang mak yg sebenar. They want us to focus and achieve what we want in life...

Ko ingat lagi tak, masa kite main gelongsor dekat bukit belakang rumah Cik Melur, abis kotor baju. Pastu mak dtg bawak rotan/getah hitam. Abis kite tiga beradik kene. Malu kene pukul depan kawan takyah cerita la... Tapi aku rasa ko lah yang paling teruk kene antara kita adik beradik, sbb ko yg paling nakal & rebellious... muhahaha...

pastu ko ingat lagi tak kita pi tangkap udang & ikan seluang tiga beradik ngan abah... Habis satu badan berlumpur. Pastu bila sampai umah, mak denda kita 4 orang (abah pon kene sekali) duduk kat luar rumah, mandi & basuh baju sendiri. Dah bersih, baru boleh masuk dalam rumah.. Aku rase mak memang garang sgt masa tu.. Tp sekarang baru aku sedar, kita pon sama je kekadang cam mak.. clean freak...

Hmm.. I’m wishing all the best utk mak.. Semoga mak sentiasa sihat and always be around forever. I love you mom!!

23 days to deadline...

As much as I used to hate deadline, I personally feel that's the best way to make me do what I was supposed to do... If I were to look back and wonder, did I ever slip a dealine? Very rare.. As far as I could recall, maybe in an occasion or two... (hmm.. pernah ke?)

So, this time, I'm gonna do this within a given timeline. Kire2 cam reality show la pulak. Adoi!

Wish me luck!

Or should I make my mission sounds like this - "23 days to deadline, and the start of a new beginning..."

*Goals are dreams with deadlines - Diana Scharf Hunt *

Yang remeh temeh

Macam yg Abang Mus cakap dulu, petty little thing doesn't concern me anymore...

Ada mata pandang
Ada telinga dengar
Ada mulut diam
Ada tangan garu
Ada kaki goyang

Ada otak pandai
Ada akal pakai
Ada bijak gadai
Ada mata pejam
Ada mulut kunyah

Yang remeh dan yang temeh
Berlegar di sekelilingmu
Yang remeh dan yang temeh
Berlegar di sekelilingmu
Buatlah..(buatlah..)
Buatlah tak tahu
Buatlah..(buatlah..)
Buatlah tak tahu

Rela jadi tunggul
Rela jadi patung
Tunggu dilelong
Suruh angguk-angguk
Suruh geleng-geleng

Oh puji lah aku
Ampu lah aku
Senang hidupmu
Ada tangan tadah
Ada maruah campak

Yang remeh dan yang temeh
Berlegar di sekelilingmu
Yang remeh dan yang temeh
Berlegar di sekelilingmu
Biarkan..(biarkan..)
Biarkan berlaku
Biarkan..(biarkan..)
Biarkan berlaku

“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.” - Galileo Galilei

2008 resolutions??

It’s already May, and one-third of the year has passed us by. Still in contact with your 2008 resolutions? For those who has forgotten, do search back that piece of paper (if you write your goal down). And for those who never had your resolutions being written down, it’s never too late to start writing one!

I just finished reviewing my goal until April, and I’m glad that I’ve achieved 31% of my overall goal successfully. Even if this number is relatively low (compared to passing mark), I know that I’m doing just great!

I was the kind of person who keen to set up goals every new year and forget it the very next day. And this year, I know that I’ve got to do something really different. I monitor my progress every month end, and I read my goal every single day… and feel free to revise it to give some flexibility.

*Let’s hear your success story to get your goal manifested!!*

I have to give hundred & ten percent!!

Reached Penang safe n sound. Alhamdulillah...

One point of discussion while I had my bfast with my dad this morning before we left to airport was about commitment. How much should we put ourself into everything that we do. The keyword here is EVERYTHING - life, work, relationship... The answer is to give hundred and ten percent!!

If we do something half-heartedly, the outcome will speak for itself. If we didn't get what we want, is not because it is our destiny... but it is because we didn't do it at our best.

"whatever the mind can conceive & believe, the mind can achieve"

Saya sebatang pensil

Hmm... Saya sebatang pensil... sounds familiar? One of the most written karangan in primary school. Dulu, kini & selamanya... I bet semua orang pernah tulis karangan biografi ini...

Secara ringkasnya, kita mengolah karangan dengan dimana kita dilahirkan, apa yg kita lakukan selama kita menjadi pensil, dan mahu tidak mahu memberi pengakhiran kepada riwayat kita - sama ada dibuang kedalam tong sampah, menjadi pendek dan tidak berguna lagi etc... quite pathetic, isn't it?

Let's see 'Saya sebatang pensil' from different light. One of Paolo Coelho's writing, a pencil is a perfect metaphor for life as a human:

1) We are capable of great things, but must never forget that there is a 'hand' guiding our steps, We call that hand 'GOD', and He always guide us according to His will.

2) Now & then, we have to stop writing & use a sharpener. That makes the pensil suffer a little, but afterwards, we are much sharper. So, we must learn to bear a certain pains and sorrows, because that will make us a better person.

3) The pensil always allow us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. That means correcting something we did isn't nesessarily a bad thing, it helps to keep us on the road to justice.

4) What really matters in a pensil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside us.

5) Pensil always leaves a mark. In just the same way, we should know that everything we do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in our every action.

So... the choice is all ours... depends on how we look at things...

*let me know how did u end your karangan last time... hehe*

Temper...

Does anger management needed by everyone? I couldn't agree more. As one of the hadith mentioned, the strongest person is the one that can control his or her anger/temper. And thus clearly saying, once you let your anger be in control, you're officially doomed!!

You can tell a lot about people personality when he or she gets angry or under a huge stress. This is the moment when people really showing his or her true skin. That's the real him/her. The dark ugly side...

Some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are. They get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things, sometimes they just withdraw physically...

Whichever situation you're in, how do you deal with people who seemed to be a second away from explosion? These are steps I rather take (still in learning curve, which I sometimes failed miserably):

1) LET GO. There's no point fighting back, as you might say things you'll regret later on. Kata orang, mengalah bukan kalah...

2) LISTEN. When everybody do the talking, who's gonna listen? There's always the truth in it, even if it just 1%...

3) FORGIVE & FORGET. Once the conflict is resolved, and believe me it will, what's better way to move on? :)

"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were" - Cherie Carter-Scott.

Count your blessings...

As cliche as it sounds, for some, it may be an understatement. At difficult times,how often do we see the glass as half-fulled? In my case - very seldom...

Let's STOP & STARE. Hope this will inspire us to look beyond our grief. For today and its blessings, I owe the world an attitude of GRATITUDE...

*wake-up call*

A note from the land below the wind...

I'm suprised with my own self... posting a blog for the first time in my life. I admit I'm not good at words, I'm a vocal person. The last time I wrote was during A-Level time.. hehe..

Something out of the blue (or rather something out of the deep blue sea) trigger my inner self to share my tots... My recent trip to the land below the wind has opened my eyes to redefine civilization. How was it measured? Purely by material achievement, or is it for something bigger, something more meaningful?

The moment we drove down the town, we were surprised by how polite Sabah drivers were (imagine yourself with 2 years unpleasant driving experience in Penang). No one was in a rush to reach their destiny. No one... really no one overtook you from your right nor left...

It was a peaceful moment I had while savoring every second I have to enjoy the ride. Who cares if you reach your destiny late? What matter most is what have you observed along the way? Methaphorically speaking, the same applies to life as well.. if you know what I mean...

While we were on our way up to the summit (even if we didn't actually make it this time, i'm exegerating a lil' bit here), we were accompanied by a Chinese uncle who proudly showing us around. He spent a solid 3 hours talking to us happily about the mountain, the weather, the trees... On our way back, I did ask how much was the trip worth. A normal way as asking your tourist guide how much their time worth...

To our surprise, (and I'm not proud of myself as I reveal this), he said that was for free of charge!! He just wanted to show us around. Can you imagine my face that moment? I feel ashamed of myself as I equate anything under the sun with money.

Maybe, that would have hurt his feelings since he did that sincerely - with no hidden agendas. See how sceptic I became... My many years of living has tought me that 'ada udang di sebalik batu' is the way people behave these days. But in Sabah case... they are super nice & frenly people who reminds that me that money is just another thing in life... not the only thing...

I definitely wud love to come back for my unfinished business here... The perfect blue sky, the majestic mountains as background, the amazing marine life, the white sandy beaches, crystal clear waters, the freshest air I ever breathe... what more cud I ask for?

Thank you... for reminding me that mother nature has a way to teach us to slow down and taste every second life has to offer. And ultimately... to seek the Creator from the creation...

*Signing off*